Hello again, student.
You are like the jaywalker who gets a mighty thrill from stepping out into traffic. You make it safely the first time, and the second, and the third—but now you’ve been hit by some hard consequences. No one trusts you, and why would they? You’ve said you would stop stepping out into dangerous traffic, but nothing’s changed. You are confident on the front end, coming off as someone sure about their future, but the euphoric thrill always creeps back into your mind, and relapse happens.
You wake up in the morning craving the monster. The night before, you gave all your cards and money to your wife, determined not to pick up. You felt good then, but this morning, you don't. You search the entire house, even the kids' rooms, for quarters to feed the beast. You manage to scrape together twenty dollars and are off to the races.
Where was God? Were you not spiritually fit enough, student? This wasn’t the first time feeding the Kratom Monster, and you have no power after the first dose. Remember the night before your supposed spiritual journey with your family? You wanted to feel more excited about what was ahead, so you justified it, thinking you’d be away from the gas station monster for a while and would be fine. But you weren’t. As soon as you returned, as fast as you could, you fed the monster and were off to the races again. You knew you wouldn’t be able to stop, yet you couldn’t stop yourself. Where was God then? You prayed during your trip, talking to Him deeply about your dilemma—but you still knew there was no stopping you even though you wanted nothing more than to stay away from kratom. You didn’t want to pick it up, but you knew you would. What is that all about? You pleaded with God, but there must have been a deep reservation to pick it up. He was trying to protect you, but your decision to go back out that night knocked down the 12-step foundation you had been creating. And now, here you are, right where I want you, questioning everything and succumbing to the monster once again.
No one believes you’re done because you’ve said it many times before. Are you done? Right now, you think you are. But tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, will you be done? It seems like whenever you start feeling the Spirit fully, that’s when you’re most susceptible to relapse. You want to feel better than you already do. You think kratom will help you achieve that. You want to take kratom and then study about God, teach about Him, and talk to others about Him. You feel like kratom heightens your spiritual condition, making you closer to God. Just think about it—doesn’t kratom give you those euphoric feelings where you want to converse with everyone and share your thoughts? Don’t you want to teach and study the Word of God because while you’re on kratom, you feel happy and connected? It feels like you’ve stepped into a euphoric life where everything seems so much more profound. Yes, the Kratom Monster makes it all feel better, doesn’t He? So why not call Him your friend?
It’s one day at a time; but it’s only a matter of time before I become the Jaywalker again.
Your old friend,
The Devil
