The Scene, Anxiety, & Loss of Confidence

The Scene, Anxiety, & Loss of Confidence

Dustin Hawkins

When one gets caught up in the scene for years upon years a certain anxiety and loss of confidence starts to form. Thursday night you go out and get belligerent; Friday night you go out and get belligerent; Saturday night you go out and get belligerent; and then Sunday rolls around, and as you recollect the weekends past events, conversations, and even drunkenness, you then wonder what it was that you said, or what it was that you did. You wonder if you acted stupid, and if you did act stupid, you become self-conscious of how you acted, then feeling regretful, and even embarrassed.For weeks, months, and even years this could go on, which then slowly leads to a loss of confidence, and a self conscious character. Now the picture of yourself in your mind is not a good picture, but is a picture of embarrassment and shame, where now having confidence in yourself is a thing of the past. You may be confident during that first initial lift, but then it’s all down hill from there, then leading to depressive thinking.How we perceive ourselves is important, since it is through our self-perception that confidence stems from. If we are lost in the scene for a long period of time, then more than likely we will be lost in poor thinking and talking concerning ourselves. Gestures like: "Why did I do that last night, I’m such a loser. Was I acting like an idiot? Was I to overbearing and weird"?If we do this often enough, where we talk to ourselves in this way, or think about ourselves in this fashion, we then start believing that we are nothing more than a belligerent drunk who has nothing more to offer than just that.The fact of the matter is- is that prolonged time spent in the scene will steal your confidence. You have to be able to see yourself in a positive way if you want to be a positive confident person. You may see yourself in a positive way when you get that first lift, but what matters most is how you see yourself when you're not lifted, or when you are clear. Everything is false in the mind when you get belligerent; it's false thinking. If you don't ever get some adequate time of clarity under your belt, or time away from the scene, then you'll never really come to know what your true thoughts and way of thinking are. For instance, if you have gone in the pattern of drinking and partying for three nights a week- hard, for a long period of time, those four days of clarity almost end up becoming recovery days for the mind, where it's trying make it's way back on track, but fails to ever do so since four days is not enough time, and Thursdays right around the corner. Then Thursday hits, and the cycle repeats itself. Most people caught in this pattern also rarely keep it to only three nights a week, but about every other week they sprinkle in a night of drinking on a Monday night as well, or even a Sunday afternoon, which just becomes an extension of Saturday night.There becomes no movement for many in this particular lifestyle. If one goes at it long enough they will eventually get a prescription for Xanax, which then becomes another problem in itself. The times that they do not drink are almost unbearable in which they now have self induced anxiety and depression -so they need a Xanax to help them float past the down days - so that the party days can come sooner. Now they have convinced themselves that they cannot sleep at night, so Nyquil and Xanax have become common characters within their habitual routine.Now the once so popular high-school athlete is now twenty-six years old, working thirty hours a week at a kiosk in the mall, and has no further education than High school, and is now content with living pay check to paycheck- only to feed his drinking and partying habit. It's the collect a paycheck on Friday- so that you can pretend to live large on the weekend mentality.This is a very hard cycle to get out of, but if people could only see that life is but a glimpse, where time floats by with a quickness, then maybe they would come to realize the importance of seeking after their full human potential; which is a potential that can only be obtained through living an obedient life through a clear lens. Yes there are those select few who seem to balance the scene in their life; but can you imagine what these select few would be capable of had they spent all their time clear, free from all addictive substances?Another aspect of getting lost in the scene is that it often brings the possibility of remaining alone. You'll always have your buddies or girlfriends of course, but what I'm speaking of is the creation of a family, with a wife and kids. The older an individual gets, and the longer they go on in the scene, the smaller the chance becomes at them finding someone. Now this is not entirely true for everybody, and I realize that there are plenty of people out there who have no problem with the scene, in which they too are getting older -and still aren't engaged in a family unit; however, it's safe to say that the scene won't allow stability to occur for many, since it's a selfish way of life, and for any relationship to stand, an act of unselfishness has to take form or the foundation of the relationship gets built upon a pile of sand -instead of rock.The scene also creates one night stands, then making it hard for any real connection to form, since alcohol created the loss of inhibition between the two consenting adults, where their motives were driven only by alcohol; therefore, no real and solid communication was ever developed, which in turn led to no real relationship ever being developed, then making it hard for them to work towards something that is lasting and real since there was no real personalities associated within the experience anyway. Click to go to todays Remote Experience