Dear God
Dear God,
Please continue to help me see the benefit of walking your light path. I'm so tired of always being quick to forget your peaceful way of life, where I then regress back down the Dragons dark path once again. Please help me to stay on your wonderful path for the duration, for it is on your path that I seem to experience comfort and safety, even carrying a happier, more consistent mind frame around; and one that is full of love, charity and light. However, it's is also on your path that I often times get too comfortable, and even complacent-which then allows for an inch of darkness to creep in. I don't want to let that darkness creep in this time, and I don't want to succumb to the ways of the world as I have done so many times in the past. I love living a clear life, but for whatever reason my soul is tormented often to give way to the evil substances of this world. When I give in I am lost, and am without Hope. When I remain on your light path - I seem to carry a charitable light within my heart that words cannot fully describe. My overall character seems to be different, where I carry myself uprightly, and even confidently-since I know that I am clear, and even free for the time being.
Please help me to continue to study about your way of life, and to be diligent in doing so. Please help me to not get too comfortable when times are good so that I can remain strong in my efforts, being diligent always in keeping my spiritual guard up. If I do fall, where I succumb to the ways of the world, then please help me to have the determination and ability to climb back on your path as I am scared to do life without you. I can't do my life without your guiding help and influence, so please help me to continue on in fighting this WAR of mine, for I am ever hopeful that you will one day remove this burden, even taking this addiction disease away from me, then granting me freedom from the Dragon and his dark way of life.
Please help me to make my prayers more heartfelt, sincere, and even consistent. I know how important prayer is, however, sometimes it is true that I am quick to forget the importance of always carry a prayer around in my head. I am also, often times, quick to forget how important it is to go out and create quiet experiences for myself; the ones where I go out and search for a quiet place to go and get lost in meditative thought and prayer so that I can reflect on this relationship of ours-and what it is that you are always trying to teach me as I fight this battle of mine.
Thank you God for all of the many blessings and talents you have given me. Thank you for my constant struggle with addiction. I do realize that if it wasn't for my addiction than you and I wouldn't have the relationship that we share today, and for that I am truly thankful. Please continue to help me remain on this road of peace. The peaceful clear way of life is truly the progressive way of life-as I'm sure of it; and I am oftentimes in wonderment as of to why I would ever choose to live any other way. The Opiate thought ceases to leave my mind no matter how long I go without him, and I am hopeful that I can make it through this upcoming weekend without heeding to his call. I have found, that If I can just keep his whispers on the surface of my thinking, not allowing the thought of him to burrow too deeply, then I can get around him and move forward. Please help me to make it around him this weekend. I don't want to stay locked into this relapse cycle anymore.
Amen,