The Rut

The Rut

A Story Told by the Dragon

Part 1 of 4

 “A rut is a narrow or predictable way of life; a set of attitudes; a dreary or undeviating routine”

 I can see that you are in a rut, and this makes me happy. Your ways as of lately have turned dark; it's just been these past three weeks or so that your ways have turned dark. Your path before these dark weeks has been a path of lightness, which I have not liked at all. I can see the pattern of your addiction, and this causes me to question who you really are. Who are you? For weeks you'll walk the light path with charity and brightness in your heart. These weeks you seem to be happiest; however it stills seems to not be enough. There's always a little hint of non-contentment even when you are on this light path. It seems as if you always want more even when you have as much as you need. Why is this the case with you? Aren't you tired of going back and forth; from lightness to darkness, from darkness to lightness? This routine has to be exhausting for you. Why don't you just quit and come my way? My way is the easy way, where you won't have to try anymore. You won't have to work on yourself as much. You won't need to read your scriptures anymore; you won't have to attend church anymore; you won't have to help people anymore; you won't have to read so much about the Invisible Hands ways anymore; you wont have to pray to Him anymore; you won't have to be an example to your kids anymore, because my substances will actually help you to be a better father and husband, or at least I will try to have you believe so.

This rut that you've been in these past weeks is just one of the many ruts you have experienced in your addictive life. I love how I can manipulate your stress levels, making you crave escape, and since you had been doing well for a time - I use that against you. I play possum with all of my clients, but I especially play it with you. I see how bad you want to be rid of my Worldly Substances; and I see how hard you work to stay on the path of lightness; therefore my work is more rewarding when I cause you to fall towards the darkness. That is why I lay low for a time, and just wait for the perfect opportunity to strike.You can't help but appreciate my smooth and deceiving antics. That one particular day a few weeks back when I put the idea in your mind to take a few Percocet’s for back pain has slowly since led you into my shadows once again. I had you convinced that it was no big deal; and that you needed them for a little back soreness, and what started out with plans of only taking two, eventually led to taking eight in a single night’s time. You tried to only take two that night, but you loved the heightened attitude Opiate provided you with; therefore you chased that heightened attitude for the remainder of the night, which in the end, proved to be a total let down and failure. You should know better by now that this chase never amounts to anything but irritability, heartache, and depression. Even I that night was impressed of how far you went. You had been doing so well in the months previous, I was not expecting that kind of intensity. It just goes to show that my substances are powerful, and no matter how long you go without, their grips are embedded deep.And now, just because of that one night of escape, you have since been casual in what you allow yourself to do. Opiate has a good grip on your thinking where he uses that initial euphoric heightened attitude against you, where a memory flood takes place, then painting the perfect picture of the Opiate experience. You never remember how dark the way truly was; you only remember the heightened euphoric attitude, which is all by my brilliant design. You seem to be quick to forget concerning the irritability and negativity that accompanies Opiate use. You also seem to be quick to forget the so called beautiful ways of the Invisible Hand, which is why you keep coming back down my path. I'm so glad that you are quick to forget, for if you weren't then my game wouldn't exist. And since my game is temporary pleasure, the memory proves to be a powerful tool for me and my team in leading you back time and time again.Are you going to be able to get out of my rut this time? You have succeeded many times in the past, but maybe this time is different. Maybe this time you'll just quit, and forever come my way. I realize that the power of the Invisible Hand is great, and that his way does in fact bring lasting peace if you can endure long enough. But can you endure long enough is the question? His ways are slow to develop; my ways are quick and immediate. My ways will push your problems aside, helping you to coast through life. His ways will bring your problems towards you, where He hopes that a learning experience will take form. He thinks that by you dealing with adversity through a clear lens that you will actually learn and progress as a human being. I guess that makes sense to a point, but why not try and take the edge off while learning at the same time? You don’t need to be clear all of the time to learn, that's ridiculous. Let Opiate help you to overcome your weaknesses and fears. Opiate will give you great courage; therefore there has to be a learning experience in that right?The decision is yours to come back my way; and you have the freedom to choose, because that was His plan from the beginning, not mine.  If it had been up to me you would have had no choice but to follow after me. I don't like free agency, which is why I'm so adamant about using my Worldly Substances to steal your free agency. I want you to be trapped by Opiate; I want you to get sick when you don't have Opiate; I want you to steal for Opiate; I want you to get in trouble because of Opiate; I want you to go to jail because of Opiate; I want to steal all of your free agency through the use of Opiate, because free agency was not my plan, and because of my prideful ways - I'm still looking to make my plan come to pass; and what better way for me to succeed than through the use of the substances of this world.     -Dustin Hawkins