The WAR in the Head

The WAR in the Head

The day started out fine for us, even with having four months of perfect clarity under our belt. Our mind was happy; it was almost too happy, in which we let our guard down for just a short time, enjoying not fighting the WAR during that time, where we just sought to enjoy life as other people who don't struggle with addiction enjoy life, since we felt like we could be normal on this particular day. But due to us  letting our guard down, and since we obviously cant be normal, the Opiate thought creeped in to our mind and eventually stole our peace.Now the days not even the same day for us. Any work that we needed to get done for our career is not even an option. We don't feel like doing a single thing, or being productive in any particular direction unless we are under the direction of Opiate. The Dragon is in our mind whispering lies and deceit, creating massive thinking errors that seem to be realistic to us because of the sly way that He seems to be presenting them. He tells us that we should worry about our financial future, and that the work we are involved in wont last, nor will it ever provide financial stability for our family. He goes on and in telling us that we aren't doing enough in our home or in our professional life, and that we are not balancing either one of them very well, hoping to overwhelm us, and throwing more gas on our addiction flame so that the small flame will become a blazing fire, making it so nothing will stop us in our pursuit to taking Opiate.We try everything from scripture study and prayer, to calling and talking, to driving and thinking, but nothing seems to work; not even listening to uplifting inspirational music seemed to work; not even praying intensely to God in beautiful scenery seemed to work; not even going and spending time with our children seemed to work. All of the things that have worked in the past have failed to work, so it is now our last hope to go in and lift weights at a high intensity in hopes of that weightlifting calming us down, and putting us back on track to making good decisions.Though everything in our mind and entire being is telling us not to go lift weights; because lifting weights intensely is no match against the Dragons and Opiates craft, which only seems to be another attempt of theirs to lead us to being acted upon, as apposed to us acting upon them. So we go on and do it anyway, lifting weights intensely, even setting a new personal record on our low bar back squat, which makes us feel strong and elite because that particular lift seems to increase our testosterone and endorphin levels due to its ability to utilize our entire posterior chain, as no other lift seems to be able to accomplish. The feeling is of such in our mind that if we continue to linear progress on this lift, that not only will our strength in all other lifts increase, but so will our life performance because of the confidence being strong will give us in our daily lives since we will look different than most in how we fill out our t-shirt and jeans. With the increase in testosterone comes an increase in confidence; and with an increase in confidence, comes a change in how we perceive ourselves; and if we perceive ourselves in the light of being strong, clear and confident, then we do have what it takes to progress past the Dragon and Opiate on this day, then finding yet another way to win the WAR in the Head; then adding yet another weapon to our arsenal. -Hawk